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I feel your pain Ashley. I regard gangster rap on a boom box as mass assault with a deadly weapon, punishable by firing squad. No, wait a minute. Too much noise. Um, lethal injection.

I imagine you're familiar with "Schopenhauer's law", my favorite philosophical proposition. "You may reliably estimate a given man's intelligence in inverse proportion to how much noise he makes or can stand to hear". Americans are serial offenders. To end the urban cacophony, I moved to a place in California so rural the UPS man has to walk the last half-mile to my door with a machete.

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